Warrior: Old Coach

Exercises: One Leg Scale.

Slogan: WHADDYA MEAN YOU BROKE YA ARM!?? YA CAN’T BREAK YA ARM CUZ YA TOO SOFT, LOOK AT THAT ARM IT’S ALL RUBBERY AND CROOKED, SEE? STOP YELPING YA CRYBABY. JUST WALK IT OFF!

Favourite Activities/Sports: Yelling at kids, calling in to radio call-in shows, counting sheep, sleeping, rolling over in bed, getting out of bed, watching mattress commercials on TV.

Favourite Healthy Food: Green asparagus, green beans, green bread, green beer, and plastic fruit

Other: That prune juicer I saw on TV at 2 a.m. keeps me running like a clock, I can sprint to the outhouse in 10 secons flat. Young punks have all this indoor plumbing… they’re soft, I tell ya, mush. Why… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.