Review: Wank Punter – Plain Brown Wrapper EP

Describing themselves as obnoxious porn rock, Wank Punter is the intellectual and musical equivalent of a teenager’s wet dream. The genre title is apt because just like porn the songs are poorly scripted, the acting/singing is terrible, the songs seem to be written over a weekend and there is little interest in giving more then one take. Songs about glory holes, porn stars and other crude sexual humour that may be construed as funny if the band wasn’t so sad. Like a twelfth-rate Kid Rock (and I fucking hate Kid Rock) this band is fronted by the rap/rocking Joey Bigapini which embodies every over-sexualized, cocaine-addled rock star cliché and then some. The real kicker is that the band is so creative that producer Mark “Feedback” Nakamura had to write all their forgettable smutty tunes such as “Bionic Chronic” and “Love You Long Time.” Despite Wank Punter’s many, many, failings as an entity, it’s strangely intriguing. Much like Troma films or Asian-singing sensation Wing or reality TV, Wank Punter might be so lame, puerile and horrifically corny that it might actually be a hit for all the wrong reasons. (Blue Sapphire Music, www.wankpunter.com) Kent Davies