by Maggie A. Clark
Clicking around on Bandcamp again, I stumbled upon a local indie-rock outfit known as Witch Hazel. Now, maybe I should have heard of them by now; I am, after all, a writer for Stylus Magazine. But what you might not know about me is that I am a lousy, no-good dilettante, so it takes me a while to catch on to small details like “what bands exist in Winnipeg in 2025.”
Anyway, I’m inclined to support any band that names itself after hemorrhoid relief ointment and I heard they were playing Winterruption this year, so I figured I’d check ’em out. But there’s a problem: their website claims that they “[provide] the soundtrack to your already badass life.”
Setting aside how annoying it is to describe yourself that way, I must object to the insinuation that I am “already” badass. I don’t know how to skateboard! I don’t do any of the “cool” drugs! I don’t orchestrate bank heists or hold up trains! I’m looking at my bookshelf right now, and you wanna know what’s on it? The 18th edition of The Chicago Manual of Style. I am a monumental dork and, if this music is intended solely for badasses, I’m afraid you’ll have to count me out.
Witch Hazel’s sophomore EP, Casa Rosso (released January 4, 2025), opens with a rumbling, bassy crescendo presumably meant to evoke the THX theme. Some may say that trick’s played out by now, but I wouldn’t! I still dig that sort of thing. (If anything, there should be more THX-style motifs in the world!) No, my issue is more with the overly polished production. This has been compressed within an inch of its life. It’s like someone sanded this thing into a perfectly smooth orb. I get the feeling that the band would sound much more dynamic live than they do on this record.
“The way you held me made me feel more, more alone / Than being stoned with all your shitty friends,” sings — well, whichever one of Drew De Pape, Ben Plett, Christian Payette, or Ron Almonte is their lead vocalist (neither their website nor Bandcamp page gives any indication) — on “Guaranteed,” a rollicking tune with kinda-sorta math/surf vibes.
I enjoy a snide, punchy lyric as much as the next asshole, but I’m not sure I understand the premise of this one. For one thing, being held feels great, almost irrespective of context; for another, my friends are delightful! Thus, by the transitive property, their friends must be pretty cool too. I gather that this is a critique many men have of their significant others’ friends, and I just don’t get it. Then again, life’s full of all manner of incomprehensible occurrences, and I can’t be party to all of them, so I’m sure the sentiment is bound to resonate with someone.
On the whole, I’d say that the EP offers solid instrumentation (in particular, I’d like to extend two thumbs up to the drumming in “Sweet Was Yesterday”) at the cost of the aforementioned production and iffy lyricism. And that’s fine. It isn’t illegal for music to be just OK.