Hillbilly Highway – Roll on, Randy

by Sheldon Birnie

Well, friends, it seems like a true star has fallen a little from heaven this week.

According to Reuters, TMZ, and dozens of other news/gossip columns, country star and gospel songsmith Randy Travis’ troubles pulled him down, and he was busted early Monday morning for drinking and driving.

“I apologize for what resulted following an evening of celebrating the Super Bowl,” Travis has since said in a press release. Allegedly, Travis was busted drinking in the front seat of his car from a bottle of wine, and initially told the Fuzz he’d just had a fight with his girlfriend. Oh yeah, and this all went down in a church parking lot.

We here at Stylus would never encourage drinking and driving. It’s dangerous, it’s deadly, and boy howdy if it ain’t illegal! But it’s hard to say that it isn’t common practice out on the Hillbilly Highway. Especially after a big day like Super Bowl Sunday. Like my good buddy Karl always says, “The Super Bowl is the most important holiday of the year. It’s for ALL Americans, not like Christmas. Today, we rock as one, you guys.”

And so Randy Travis fell a little under the influence and got nailed for it. Technically, he wasn’t driving when the Five-O rolled up on him, so for all we know, ol’ Randy was probably just going to sleep it off in the back of his big ol’ Buick, or Cadillac, or whatever the fuck a man from Texas drives who’s sold over 25 million albums worldwide.

At least he didn’t croak in the back of that ride, like ol’ Hank did back after a big New Year’s Eve drunk in ’53. And it’s not like he got pulled over, pissed to the gills, driving a ride-on-lawn-mower like George Jones in Beaumont, Texas, after his wife Shirley hid all the keys to all his cars to try to get him off the Uber-Bender the Possum was riding at the time. And it’s not like Randy claimed he was “high on God” when he was pulled over after a high-speed chase, like the godfather of soul, James Brown (rest his soul).

Randy Travis is a good ol boy from Texas, and sometimes a man makes a mistake or two. Travis has apologized, and he’ll pony up the cash for any charges that come out of this. He’ll pay his debt to society, that’s for sure: he told us so. But hasn’t Travis already given us so much? His neotraditional country tunes have filled the airwaves all up and down the Highway for over 25 years, providing plenty of comfort to the afflicted on long, overnight hauls and endless days behind the wheel.

Roll on, Randy. Every man slips up sometime.  I forgive you, pal. I’m sure your pal JC does, too; from the hard rock bottom of his heart. Roll on.

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